I have written this post in my head probably a hundred times. But now that I sit down to actually put words in place, it’s not coming very easily. So please bear with me.
I actually didn’t intend to even share very much at the beginning. But every time I have sat down to write a regular recipe post in the last couple of weeks, I have found that it’s hard to write without incorporating real life. Because real life has definitely taken a turn.
About two and a half weeks ago, we found out that our 4 year old son, Easton, has leukemia. I can’t even begin to describe how I felt the moment that our doctor told us. We knew bad news was coming – they had called that morning asking me to come in to talk about the results of the tests they had done. I immediately called my husband at work and told him that it couldn’t be good if they wanted us to come in, so he left work right away so that he could go with me. I’m so grateful for that looking back.
I won’t go into all of the details, but the next week was a whirlwind. They wanted us to check into the hospital right away, but it was my daughter’s birthday and she had her very first birthday party that afternoon. After talking to the oncologist, my doctor called back and said we were fine to wait until the next morning, which is another tender mercy because I know she would have been devastated to have to cancel her party. It seems so silly in the grand scheme of things, but I knew our lives were going to drastically change, and that night of normal was needed for our family.
The next morning, we checked into Primary Children’s Hospital and spent 5 days there, starting chemotherapy. Luckily, all went smoothly so we were able to check out, and we are now going up once a week for outpatient therapy.
Like I said above, I didn’t really intend on sharing much. In fact, beyond our immediate family and church clergy, we didn’t tell many people those first few days. I didn’t think I was emotionally ready for it. I’m still not sure I am. But I knew there were people that would want to know, and I knew that word would get out eventually. It’s not that I didn’t want people to know, but how do you tell people – my son has cancer? I am not a person who likes a lot of attention on me, and Easton is quite shy as well, so it just wasn’t an easy thing for me to do.
But I talked to my sister, whose daughter went through a lot health wise, as well, and I asked her – how did you tell people? She said you just have to do it. It may not be comfortable, but people want to know. If for nothing else, people can pray for you. Pray for you child. And heaven knows we could use all the prayers we can get. So I shared on my personal Facebook page, and I also talked about it some on Snapchat.
For some reason, it has even been harder to share with all of you. I think it’s because I’m not an attention seeker. But I know I can’t keep writing and pretending that life is continuing on as normal, because it’s not. It felt fake to skirt around it. Because this is now life, and the beauty of a blog is that it’s not just a compilation of recipes, or travelogues. It’s personal. It’s real. And this is now a big part of my story.
I don’t know the plan from here – how often I will talk about Easton and his treatment. We are hoping that things will be pretty uneventful so that I won’t have a lot to write about. But I thought for today, I’d share some of the questions that we have been asked the most, and try my best to answer them.
How did your doctor find it?
We still don’t know if anything is related, and probably never will, but back in October, Easton woke up with a stiff neck. I called the doctor, and we ruled out meningitis and chalked it up to him sleeping on it badly. But then it happened again. And then again. And again. We had a check up to get his kindergarten shots, and he just happen to have one of his stiff necks that day. But this time, it was more in his shoulder. After looking at him and discussing it, she sent us to get x-rays of his shoulder. I received a call the next day that everything looked fine on the x-ray, but if things didn’t get better in the next couple days, to call back in and they would do some further testing. The next morning, he woke up fine.
But a week later, it happened again. So I called the doctor again. I knew something was wrong. He has always been a mama’s boy, but in the preceding months, it was magnified. He would barely leave my side. He was having tantrums, and just looked pale. I think that I knew deep inside that something was wrong. So this time, I called the doctor, and they had us come in. I was ready to press them to find out what was going on. My doctor was not in that day, so we saw another doctor in the clinic. I broke into tears, saying I was that crazy mom who knew something was wrong but I had no idea what. He said he would get in contact with our pediatrician, and they would call me with what they wanted us to do. A couple hours later, they called and asked us to go back for another x-ray and to do some blood work. That blood work is what caught the leukemia. We don’t know if the stiff necks were even connected, because leukemia typically moves very quickly and they don’t think that he would have had it in his body that long. But there is no way to know. No way to tell. But even though it’s not the diagnosis that we ever imagined, I’m grateful that those stiff necks led our pediatrician to send us for that blood test.
(And crazy enough – it’s very rare for a pediatrician to be the one to catch a patient with leukemia. They told us that most will never have to give that news to a parent. And the few that do would most likely never have to deliver that diagnosis more than once in their whole career.)
What kind of leukemia does he have?
I have been getting a crash course in all things leukemia. In all honesty, before all of this, I didn’t even know there are different kinds. But he has the most common type of leukemia – b-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia, also known as B-ALL. As far as cancer in kids goes, if you are going to have cancer, this is the type you want to have, simply because it is the most common and so much research has been done. He has been very average across the board, which is also great, because it makes knowing the path of treatment a lot easier. I have heard a few different numbers thrown around, but the survival rate for this type of cancer is as high as 95%. Those are some great odds. And we feel very lucky about that. I have complete confidence that he will come out of this just fine. It’s just the process of getting him past it that’s not going to be very fun.
What is the treatment? How long does it take?
Like I said above, he started chemotherapy right away. He has actually already had 4 different types of chemo in just over 2 weeks. Right now, we are going in for treatment once a week. The first month, also called induction, is when they get in there aggressively and try to kill off all of the cancer. That is one thing that I didn’t know about cancer. That after the first 28 days, the goal is to have the tests come back with 0 cancer. But since it’s such an aggressive disease, and since it can hide and start duplicating again, treatment continues on even after the tests come back clear. So for the first 8 months, he will be regularly receiving chemo. If the tests come back good at that point, he will go on maintenance which will last just under 3 years. Total treatment for boys is 3 1/2 years, while it’s easier to get rid of the cancer in girls, so they typically go for 2 years. He is also on a steroid, as well as many other medications to combat other issues that may come up.
What can I do?
This is probably the thing we get asked the most, and the hardest for me. All we are asking for right now are prayers for Easton. Prayers that he will beat this, that he will continue to be brave and strong. We consider ourselves pretty lucky – we are both working, and we have good insurance. Since I work from home, I’m able to be with him all the time. We both have lots of family close by, and they have all been wonderful. But we can always use prayers and positive thoughts and anything else you want to send out into the universe for this little guy. He has been so brave, and so amazing through all of this. Of course, it’s not a walk in the park, but he has taken this all in so much better than I would have ever imagined.
Feel free to ask more questions if you have them, or follow me on Snapchat where I tend to talk more about it. (For some crazy reason, it’s somewhat therapeutic to talk about it there. I’m on as tasteandtell.) In the meantime, we are attempting to live life as normal as possible. Easton is hoping to go back to school in about a month. But for now, we are pretty much homebound. So trying to live life as normally as possible hasn’t been that bad. We just keep praying for things to continue to go well. And for things to be uneventful. Because I love this little guy, and can’t wait for him to be whole again!
Rachel J says
February 13, 2016 at 5:03 amHi Deborah, I’ve been following you for years and while I love visiting your page whenever a new post is up, I’ve never left a comment. My heart aches for your family as you deal with this heavy matter. I’m sending lots of prayers to sweet Easton and your family. Please keep us as updated as you like as I will be thinking of your precious boy whenever a new recipe is posted!
Rachel Cooks says
February 13, 2016 at 7:25 amI’m in tears reading this — praying for Easton, for you, and for your whole family. I admire your strength and positivity so much.
Susan M. says
February 13, 2016 at 8:07 amThis breaks my heart. I can’t imagine how hard this must be. As parents, I think we always worry about these things and good for you to keep persisting to have him checked out. Wishing you all the best and sending lots of prayers for Easton and your family.
Kristen says
February 13, 2016 at 8:26 amLove you much, friend and prayers for sweet Easton. It’s crazy how life can change on a dime… your strength is so admirable!
Jen says
February 13, 2016 at 8:34 amWhat a scary thing to be going through with your sweet boy, but I am impressed by your mama bear persistence in getting him diagnosed. Please know that we are sending our prayers for healing and strength during this difficult time.
Mia says
February 13, 2016 at 8:55 amXoxo…
Diane J says
February 13, 2016 at 9:56 amI’m a new follower (of 1 day). I will keep you and all of your family in my prayers. Bless you all.
Daniel says
February 13, 2016 at 10:01 amI’ll be praying for Easton, for you and your whole family. I can’t imagine being that young and having to deal with something like leukemia, and I can’t imagine as a parent dealing with it, either. Praying for daily, sufficient grace and strength for your journey, as well as physical healing and comfort.
Meg says
February 13, 2016 at 10:21 amI can’t imagine getting that kind of news. Best wishes to your family! And know that there are prayers from a stranger coming your way.
Christy says
February 13, 2016 at 11:30 amI’m glad you shared this very personal post. This way you can get a lot of prayers for your precious son. Easton will be in my thoughts and prayers as well as you and your family. God bless you all.
Laura says
February 13, 2016 at 11:36 amSend Love, Light & healing thoughts & prayers. ….
Erin R. says
February 13, 2016 at 11:59 amThank you for telling us. Your bravery in doing so is admirable. And you did exactly the right thing going ahead with the birthday party. It’s one of the most unsilly things I’ve ever heard. Blessings to you, your boy and the rest of your family.
Jane Rutzler says
February 13, 2016 at 12:00 pmHi Deborah, I have followed you for a long time and wondered what happened. I have experienced serious health issues with a young child too, so my heart goes out to you and your family. It sounds like he has a very good chance, but that doesn’t make it any easier. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son and your whole family.
Cflaks says
February 13, 2016 at 12:57 pmPrayer and all encompassing love too you and your family.
Christina @ Every Little Thing She Does says
February 13, 2016 at 12:58 pmThank you for sharing your story. As a mother, I can’t imagine how difficult these past few weeks have been for you. To sit down and write it out for all of us to read takes so much strength. Prayers to you, your family, the doctors and nurses treating him and, most of all, to your sweet boy.
Tam says
February 13, 2016 at 1:36 pmThanks for sharing your story. There are a lot of people out there sending strength and prayers to your family. You go Easton!
DJE says
February 13, 2016 at 1:39 pmThank you for having the courage to share and for giving us the opportunity to pray for you and Easton. I would like you to know I’m praying for complete and total healing for Easton, that he feels the love of Christ during this process, that your entire family experiences His hope and His peace as you make this journey, and that you all tangibly feel His comfort each and every day. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.
Terry says
February 13, 2016 at 1:52 pmSending you strength and love, and wishing all the best to Easton and his entire family. Such hard news to hear! — but it sounds like you’re doing everything right, and I just know Easton will do fine.
Emily says
February 13, 2016 at 2:59 pmSending prayers for you and Easton. Stay strong.
Brenda says
February 13, 2016 at 4:27 pmPraying for your sweet Easton. Thanks for sharing. I hope you will give updates. What a blessing to be able to work from home and to be with Easton.
Joan says
February 13, 2016 at 5:06 pmSending Love, prayers and healing too Easton and your familiy
Amy @BellyFull says
February 13, 2016 at 5:42 pmLove you, Deborah. Sending you love, strength, and positive juju. You will all make it through this, because good people do win in the end.
Jodi says
February 13, 2016 at 8:12 pmPrayers for you all.
Joan says
February 13, 2016 at 8:13 pmI will be praying for Easton and your family.
Kim B says
February 13, 2016 at 8:35 pmI can’t even imagine. As a mom of 4 boys my heart aches for you. Praying not only for Easton, but your entire family as well. May you feel God’s strength during this very overwhelming difficult time.
Chels R. says
February 13, 2016 at 9:24 pmOh, Deborah! I am so so sorry!!!! You all must be so scared! My brother had leukemia when I was really little and I remember going up to our city’s children hospital nearly every week for all of his treatments. I will certainly be placing Easton in my prayers and sharing with our church so we can be praying for him as a body as well. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147: 3
Mel says
February 13, 2016 at 9:51 pmOh my goodness, Deborah – I know it was hard to share but thank you for letting us in for very small glimpse of a personal and difficult situation for you and sweet Easton. Prayers! I can do that! And even though I don’t live near you, I hope you will let me know if there’s ever anything else you need. My heart is heavy for you as a mom and all the feelings that must be weighing on you – I hope you and your family are blessed with the peace and strength you need to get through this.
Alvina says
February 13, 2016 at 10:31 pmPraying for your family and Easton!
SnoWhite @ Finding Joy in My Kitchen says
February 14, 2016 at 7:29 amI am so sorry to hear this news š Your positive outlook and faith will carry you — and we will be praying for you.
Constance says
February 14, 2016 at 8:25 amHi Deborah,
I am following your blog since yesterday. I am from Argentina and my daughter Olivia, now 6 years, was diagnosed with ALL in January 4th.
No wirds to describe the feeling of having a child with cancer.
She started quimioterapy right away and next week we will have the results of her 33 day treatment.
I will follow your blog and hope everything goes fine.
The good news, as you said, is that they have very high chances to get cured. They say that kids hace an extra power to recover. Olivia has a strength I never thought she would.
My instagram is cotigiargia ir you want to follow me. I post now and then some of Olivia’s pictures.
Hope everything comes out fine.
Constance
Deborah says
February 14, 2016 at 10:20 pmPrayers and love to you, Constance. I am praying that you receive good news with the results. Life definitely throws you into things you aren’t prepared for, but I am so grateful for the strength of these little children!! xoxo
Roseanne says
February 14, 2016 at 11:33 amI don’t know how much comfort you can get from complete strangers, but if you can please do. While we may never meet, that does not mean we don’t care. Our prayers – many together asking for the same thing – carry much weight and I truly believe dear Easton will beat this and come out much stronger for it. Certainly your whole family will. It is a shame that a mother has to even utter these words “he has the most common type of leukemia” about her child, but it does seem to be a blessing in itself. Big huge {{{hugs}}} for all of you. I am glad you were able to have your daughter’s birthday. This will certainly change your family forever but it doesn’t have to be in a bad way. Many, many prayers coming your way for all of you. I can hardly wait to hear the next update on Mr. Cutie Pie Easton! {{Hugs}} a bunch
Wendy Hampton says
February 14, 2016 at 12:02 pmGod bless you and your family. Sending prayers that all will go as smoothly as it can and that each day you all find something to laugh at.
Dorothy @ Crazy for Crust says
February 14, 2016 at 4:36 pmI am sending you so many hugs Deborah. Know that we are all here for you always!
Susan P says
February 15, 2016 at 7:04 amHugsā¦.Easton and your family will be in my prayers.
Ashley | Spoonful of Flavor says
February 15, 2016 at 11:33 amI’ve been praying and thinking about your family since I read your news. Sending you many positive thoughts and prayers!
Denise says
February 15, 2016 at 1:31 pmDeborah, we are so sorry to hear this news. Lenny brought it up after seeing you snap, then I saw it too. There are no words to help comfort during a time such as this, just know that Easton and your family are in our thoughts.
Emily says
February 15, 2016 at 9:01 pmSending lots of love and prayers for Easton and the rest of your family. xoxo
Fatty says
February 15, 2016 at 10:32 pmDios todo lo puede, para El no hay imposibles. Vamos a pedirle mucho por Easton y por tu familia.
Hace 4 aƱos me detectaron Cancer de tiroides. Dios me devolviĆ³ la salud. Ten fe. Cree y veras las maravillas del SeƱor
Abby @ Confabulation In the Kitchen says
February 16, 2016 at 1:35 pmI’ve read quietly for awhile now, but I always think of you fondly! I still have some cookbooks I won from you and think of you and your family when I pull them out! My prayers are with little Easton, and all of you, for a successful treatment and recovery. With God all things are possible!
Heather says
February 16, 2016 at 3:27 pmDeborah, this breaks my heart. I know it is hard to share such a personal struggle, but your strength and courage is inspiring to others going through similar challenges. Sending hugs and keeping your precious Easton and your sweet family in my thoughts during this difficult time.
Roger Gardner says
February 20, 2016 at 9:33 amHi Deborah,
I am one of your many followers and now one of your many admirers. My heart goes out to you and your family in this very trying moment in you’re lives. Your words brought me to tears and I cannot even imagine how I would, or would have dealt with such live-changing news. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Cassie says
February 22, 2016 at 8:06 amYou are so brave, Deborah, and I know that your courage and strength is doing so much for Easton right now. All my love and prayers and virtual hugs. Thank you for sharing this journey!
Valerie M says
February 22, 2016 at 1:24 pmWhat a scary and difficult thing to be going through for him and all of you. Prayers!
Ashley@blondegirlcravings says
February 22, 2016 at 4:30 pmPraying for you and your family!
Erika says
February 26, 2016 at 10:56 amAs a mother myself, I can only imagine the difficult time you and your family are going through. You are all in my prayers.
Pat says
March 5, 2016 at 7:36 pmMy thoughts and prayers are with you and Easton. He is a beautiful little boy and I am praying for his complete recovery. God bless you all.
Ashley says
March 15, 2016 at 10:14 pmI’m so sorry Easton and your family is going through this. I actually have a 4 year old named Easton, too. I will be praying for your sweet boy.